you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
