i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
did i just pee glitter
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize