just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
