I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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