Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
