Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
