im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
