She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
