IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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