I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
