the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Drake has all the answers
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
