Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
