Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
