Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
