like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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