I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
