I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
