the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
