she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
