They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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