i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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