Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Who died my cat blue again?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
