he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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