I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
