My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
