As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
