so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
