how can u be prego again
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
