??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
