I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
