New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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