She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
