we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
