bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
