I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
