so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
