Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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