Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
