is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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