Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
