But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm passing your future prison.
I wish there were birth control emojis
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
