we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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