Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
