HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
