u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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