HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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