last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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