Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
