Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
