I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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