Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
